The Week that Wasn't - Thatcher Special (Unedited Version)

"Irony Lady's Rule United Angry Scots" The Glaswegian, Wednesday 17.04.2013

The Iron Lady in her Prime.

Unsurprisingly, the news for the last week has been dominated by the death of Maggie Thatcher. To some the saviour of the harrumphing classes, to others, the scurge of the working man. Today the world will watch as she will be laid to rest with a funeral afforded to the Queen Mother, a full ceremonial funeral with military honours at St Paul's Cathedral, effectively a state funeral in all but name and at a cost to the taxpayer thought to be between £8-12 million.

With Excellent Make Up Meryl Streep is a Dead Ringer.

Glasgow, like most of Scotland, was hit incredibly hard by the effect of Thatcher's policies, none more so than the shipbuilders on the Clyde and other heavy industry workers in and around Glasgow on which the country relied. And impoverished areas of Glasgow, already suffering the effects of "The Winter of Discontent" felt her policies even more accutely. Not all of Britain suffered though. As long as you lived in middle to southern England, were middle class and upwards, white, Christian and straight then you had the best chance tofind life quite comfortable. Indeed some with privileged starts to their lives were allowed to flourish in Thatcher's Britain, giving rise to the free market Yuppy stereotype which is looked upon today with derision. This rule is not hard and fast, and there were some working class or immigrants who did do well, and if you managed to succeed during this time then fair play, well done. But if you were poor or working class, black, asian, non-British, and gay, then the chances of you flourishing and reaching your potential were much slimmer. She once said to the press that there was no such thing as "society". Unfortunately, for the majority, regardless of talent or potential there was no such thing as meritocracy either.

A Meeting Between Thatcher & Pres. Ronald Reagan.

As a result, the memory of Maggie has since maintained a specre-like shadow over the country, and parents tell their children of what it was like when Thatcher was in power. In this way Maggie has evolved into a societal boogeyman figure akin to Lord Voldemort, when Harry was still living under some dude's stairs and Voldemort was living under some dude's turban. "Do you remember when She who Shall Not be Named stopped the children getting milk at school? And do you remember when she opposed sanctions on South Africa's Apartheid and branded Nelson Mandela a grubby little terrorist?". "Yes. I remember when She Who Shall Not be Named sent the SAS to train the Khmer Rouge and opposed the reunification of Germany". "I remember the Poll tax, her opposition to the national minimum wage, raising VAT from 8% to15% and nearly 5 million people unemployed whilst giving tax cuts and other incentives to the richest"."Yup, She Who Shall Not be Named was a bit of a rotter, really. Still, in her defense she had a jolly posh accent and knew how to wear a blue dress".

Scotland's Grief on Planet Rifkind.

The award for the biggest fantasist goes to Sir Malcolm Rifkind, who recently claimed that the Scots actually LOVED Maggie. He is of course referring to Thatcher's Right to Buy policy which allowed people to buy their council house at cut rate prices. This was one of the few kind things she did for the working class, and she should rightfully be hailed for it, however it clearly never occured to her that in the future council houses would eventually run out leading to the shortage we have in many areas. She could have used some of the money to build new houses but perhap she either didn't realise or care. Sir Malky obviously left Planet Reality a long time ago, but I'm sure he's now quite happy on his new home planet where all of Scotland vote Tory, Maggie is a national hero and Scotland had a week of national mourning, with people crying in the streets on a level only known in North Korea.

Scenes Which Would Enrage the Daily Mail.

So Maggie passes in luxury warm in her bed in The Ritz, but for those who say that Thatcher won, I counter with this - the Scots finallly got their own back at the end. Her callous treatment of the poor and her determination to hammer the unions into submission united an angered Scotland which stood helplessly by, as the number of votes from England in the General Elections ensured that the Scots' votes would always be meaningless. Such unified desire for Scots to have their voice heard eventually led to the creation of the Scottish Parliament, and given our taste for autonomy it has led to next years' independence referendum. Margaret Thatcher was always deeply opposed to the idea of Hollyrood, and if we do vote yes for independence, then I'm sure that Thatcher's rage will be felt straight from the afterlife. In that way her punative policies have drastically backfired on her, because if only she had treated the poor fairly and with some compassion, if only the unions had not been hammered, then Holyrood may not even exist today. But if Scotland sees out 2014 having collectively said yes to independence, then Scotlands retribution will be complete.

Thatcher's Ideology Lives On.

Plenty in Scotland will celebrate Thatcher's passing, but whilst living at the height of Cameronism (which dwarfs Thatcher's ideology in many ways) those celebrations will all seem a little meaningless.

Kieran
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